Living in the Shadows

Living in the Shadows

(abridged)

by Madi A. 02/2026

A Decision

Forgiveness is a decision. It is a deeply personal, powerful, and often difficult process. It is the decision for the one who seeks peace, healing, and freedom; it is not for the person who caused the pain. There are heavy sentiments attached: the feeling that they gave me up, or they gave up on me (us), or even a feeling that they let me go.

In this process, there are feelings of abandonment and of someone giving up on me. There was always a formula that I lived by: U + I = US, until it was no longer equal. 

So now, I forgive you! It is a simple phrase that commands all my emotions. Those three words will release me from the pain when it is time to let it go. 

The word YOU, means a different person every time I say it. I will reclaim pieces of myself that were left with each one of YOU throughout my life.

The Release

I forgive you… for having to give me up. It was the ultimate sacrifice you made, for what was believed to be a better life.  

I forgive you… for taking away my innocence; for feeling stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts; but I broke the cycle. All I needed was the power of protection when words could not be spoken.

I forgive you… for destroying my soul, for shattering me one piece at a time. Through courage I found strength to rebuild myself, one minute at a time.  

I forgive you… for never believing in me. I needed to learn how to use my own wings. I was determined to find the wind that I needed to move forward on my own.

I forgive you… for not hearing my silence. I wasn't given the voice I needed to be heard. I learned to survive in the shadows.

I forgive you… for bullying me. It gave me the courage to rewrite my story and prove that your actions did not define my worth.

I forgive you… for the way you sold me on forever promises, but spoke lies for your own gain. It forced me to find my independence once again.

I forgive you… for leaving without a word. It broke my heart to let you fly to find your independence and deal with your personal struggles.

I forgive you… for all the loss I felt, and for my unanswered prayers. Through my faith, I found inner peace in my heart to believe in.

 

I forgive you… 

It was my decision to stop living in the shadow of the past, allowing me to move forward and rebuild my life. I reclaim the power, and I refuse to be defined by the pain, to free myself. Moving forward, I choose you, as I step out of that shadow, shredding the weight of the past. 

The Reclaiming

I choose you… to live a full life of happiness; to help you navigate through your challenges in life.

I choose you… accepting your path you chose for yourself; for the grandchildren you gave me to love and cherish.

I choose you… for the life which you included me; for the grandchildren I live with and cherish every moment with.

I choose you… for the powerful young woman you are. You are the million dollar baby that had only a 2% chance. You will have the performance of a lifetime.

I choose you… for the young man full of character. You will find your perfect rhythm with your voice and creative words; you have the power to be.

I choose you… for the words you don't speak. For your wit and humour, and for your huge presence to be different. 

I choose you… for your kind heart, your innocence, and your determination to succeed.

I choose you… for your inner beauty, and unselfish acts. You speak with your actions. 

I choose you… for always needing my soft words to give you the calmness you need to survive. 

I choose you… for finding me. For your adventures that allow me to explore a world through your eyes.

I choose you… for always being there to support me during my down times. To enjoy and laugh through the good times and for helping me to navigate through the challenges in my path.

I choose you...

I have spent years navigating the silence and the shadows, but today I step fully into the light. 

The Final Piece

To those I have forgiven: I leave you to your own journey, for you no longer anchor mine. 

To those I have chosen: you are my purpose and my joy. I thank you for the life we are building together, for the strength we share, and for the grace that allows me to live.

The Shadows