Western Gateway RV Dash

Western Gateway RV Dash 

WGRVD-2018 by Madi A.

Headline: “Six,000 kms in 288 hours”

As the Northern Ontario memoirist flipped her cell out and started one-finger typing her 288-hour venture, she realized the armoured laptop needed to be tackled by ten fingers. This road trip wasn't a highway invitation like the “East Coast RV Trip” (ECRVT) of 2017; it was a strategic sip-and-sprint with a rigid destination and a zero-hour arrival time. Out of those 288 hours, after subtracting time for sleep, fuel, and a three-day conference, she was left with a window that required fault-free activation from start to finish. The setup reminded her of the 1983 classic "National Lampoon's Vacation," where the Griswold's cross-country trek became a legendary catalogue of incidents and mishaps. As she chuckled, a new thought took hold: could the "Bizarre" family be a future Canadian satirical publication, "National Beaverton's Vacation?" With the mishaps already recorded in 2018, the Bizarres were ready to emerge as their own parody of Canadian travel, culture, and pure unadulterated grit.

After weeks of paralyzing decisions, the Bizarres are heading to Edmonton in an 18-ft RV rental. This RV wasn't from a luxury fleet; it was a basic steel box on wheels, similar to Clark's 1979 Ford LTD wagon named Sparky. On Saturday, May 19th, G-Ma was up at the crack of dawn to head four hours south to retrieve the RV rental. As she followed her compass north, she realized there was sensory overload, making the drive back a taunting distance that never seemed to end. This RV wasn't a fortress like the “Rocket Ship” used in the ECRVT; it was named the "Wanderlust,” an 18-ft symphony of squeaks and the vision of a microwave turntable finally getting evicted from the kitchen, somewhere in Manitoba. Both her grandchildren, Renésmée 14, and Juno, 12, helped her pack their personal items and a few snacks. Juno claimed the top bunk and named it the "Mini Cave," as it was just for one, since Cassidy isn’t with them this trip, and it was half the size of the “Man Cave” of the “Rocket Ship” from the ECRVT in 2017. G-Ma and Renésmée organized their belongings by the queen-size bed at the back of the RV. As this wasn't quite the “Zen Room," it was comfy. G-G was set up in the communal area, with access to everything and in a central location, so it's part of everyone's activities. 

T-Minus: 288 hours - Start 6,000 kms

The next day, they picked up G-G, her 87-year-old mother, who was coming along for the journey. They were barely out of the city when the high sensory noise was affecting both G-Ma and Juno. It was a squeaky box, and it was going to be held together by paper towels. Juno grabbed a roll, ripped strips from it, and rolled them into a bundle. The plugs were applied everywhere the squeaks and tweaks G-Ma could hear. The “Plugger” attacked every corner, creating a giant spitball project, as the Griswolds would have called it. G-G insisted we stop to get an RV upgrade. In northern Ontario, it's impossible. G-Ma was praying it wouldn't break down. It’s one thing to have a chosen soundtrack of the sound of your own pipes on your motorcycle, but to hear relentless noises from the constant complaining of the RV, that’s an entirely different track.

On April 5th, 2018, G-Ma didn’t book tickets at “Wally World"; she booked four reservations for the “37th Annual National Conference of the Turner Syndrome Society of Canada (TSSC)” in Edmonton, AB. “Why?” The Turner Syndrome (TS) Conference in Edmonton is a crucial part of Renésmée's healthcare, as TS is rare; inclusion is critical while maintaining awareness.  

Headline: “The million-dollar baby" travels four provinces to reach her equals

It was a diagnosis that steered G-Ma to plan the trip. After a lifetime of dealing with a single diagnosis of celiac disease, Renésmée still had undiagnosed symptoms. In May 2016, a pediatric endocrinologist at Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO) tested and diagnosed Renésmée with Turner Syndrome (TS). Celiac disease is an underlying symptom of TS, often misdiagnosed. What is Turner Syndrome? It is a genetic disorder affecting females only, with one “X” chromosome that is missing or defective, leading to short stature, ovarian failure, and developmental issues. Aside from the aforementioned issues, they can live a very normal life. Renésmée started a treatment with the recommended "growth hormones" to maximize her height. “While 98% of conceptions end in miscarriage, only 2% are live births.” Therefore, they nicknamed Renésmée "The million-dollar baby!" The Turner Syndrome Society of Canada (TSSC) provided up-to-date medical information, networking, and annual conferences for people with TS and their families. The last two were in Ontario: Toronto in 2016 and Niagara Falls in 2017. The camaraderie blossomed with such intensity that it was a beautiful, overwhelming reminder of the incredible bond they share. 

Headline: On Trans-Canada Highway 17 West, a microwave glass turntable was found in someone's front yard—possibly G-G too

It was almost 8 PM before they stopped at a roadside diner in Bruce Mines to eat as they approached Sault Ste. Marie, G-Ma, was ready to evict the last of the noise from the RV. There was something so relatable and hilarious about reaching a limit and visualizing the microwave glass turntable hitting the front yard of the house on the side of the road. She asked Juno to take it out and hide it in a cupboard. G-G annoyingly insisted we find an upgrade. After a four-hour drive with the dashboard "chirping" at her, her last nerve was twitching, and she couldn't wait to reach the Walmart parking lot.  

Headline: “Breakfast fit for a kid” was hopeful

The Wanderlust was not equipped like the "Rocket Ship" was during the ECRVT. The meals were not pre-planned; it was mostly snacks, with one good sit-down meal a day. A few kilometres away, Juno notices a sign that reads, "Pancake Bay," interpreted as, “Breakfast fit for a kid!” Renésmée, as co-pilot, prompted a search, explaining that Pancake Bay was a place where the 19th-century "Voyageur Tradition" found sheltered space between Montreal and Fort William. They would camp and make pancakes, taking a break from the harsh conditions of Lake Superior. Juno replied, “I guess it has nothing to do with having pancakes for kids, uh!” Everyone laughed. They needed to make a quick stop for a trucker-style breakfast and grab a few snacks and drinks for the road ahead. 

They visited the Agawa Crafts and admired the native craftsmanship. After a few minutes, it was time to load back into the Wanderlust. Juno’s eyes were as big as whales as he caught the 28-foot statue of the Wawa Canada Goose on the side of the highway. "Wa-wa-aaaaaw, that’s a big bird,” he said. 

By 3 PM, they pulled into White River, the home of Winnie-the-Pooh. G-G went into the restaurant for a cup of coffee, while the children played at the playground, admired the crafted totem poles, and read the plaque about Winnie. G-Ma’s goal was to drive to Thunder Bay for the night. Nothing was better than a Boston Pizza dinner after a long day of driving. Renésmée searched on Google for a nearby Walmart to park the Wanderlust for the night. G-Ma was exhausted; G-G and the children played a few board games before bed.

T-Minus: 260 hours - Destination: 4,970 kms

The clock was ticking as they packed and were back on the road promptly. They pulled into a gas station with a restaurant for a quick breakfast and fuel-up before getting out of Ontario; all this road and time, and we are still in the same province. Juno, being a little smarty-pants, says, "Are we ever getting out of Ontario?” G-Ma promised him they would soon be in Manitoba for a BBQ dinner at Uncle John’s. Juno had an order of five pancakes since he didn’t get any in Pancake Bay; Renésmée had an order of bacon with some home fries. G-G had her usual almost burnt toast with coffee. The highway west didn’t offer the curves of the coast or many stops. 

Headline: In Manitoba, a sing-along comes together

By 4 PM, G-Ma yelled, "Alleluia, look at the Manitoba border!” Once they crossed the Ontario and Manitoba border, the highway was flat with prairie fields on both sides. Within an hour, they encountered a convoy of army tanks parked along the highway near Shilo, MB. Paralyzed by the view of the asphalt, Juno started to hum, "La la la … and a Partridge in a Pear Tree” tune. “One Wa--wa goose"; then, it was "two totem poles," adding "three huge lol-li-pops” and then, “four pro-vin-ces” to cross. Juno was so proud of his little tune, “Five Pancakes," for breakfast and 6 “La, la, la," and then he blurted out loud, "Seven a-r-m-y t-a-n-k-s!!!" Juno traded his one-line puns from the ECRVT into a hum-a-long.

Uncle John sent a text with step-by-step instructions to his home on the outskirts of Winnipeg. G-Ma, the experienced navigator of many provinces and kilometres, could not find the exit required to get to Uncle John's. Renésmée was texting him back and forth when they finally saw him on the side of the highway, waving us into the exit. They all laughed once they parked. The directions were easy to follow, but G-Ma failed. She looked forward to a late-afternoon visit with a BBQ dinner. 

He shared his RV travelling experiences and was happy to meet G-Ma’s grandchildren and her mother, G-G. She met John and his wife a few times, at the family reunions in 2004 and 2006. He was her late biological mother’s brother. He graciously offered to connect an extension cord to the RV for electricity and stay the night. It was a very peaceful night, just knowing a relative was just inside, unlike the visuals they’ve experienced in the Walmart parking lots. 

It was an early departure; they unplugged the cord and placed it on the garage handle as they quietly pulled out of the driveway. They were seven hours away from Guernsey, SK. 

Headline: G-Ma arrived in Guernsey, SK, to visit the biological family she met at age 42

They arrived in mid-afternoon on May 24th. It was a 20-hour or so visit. It was brief, but it was worth the stop to visit her “new” bio family: her aunt, her cousin, and their family. They only met a few times since 2003, but they kept in touch on social media between family reunions, weddings, funerals, and visits. It was the first time she returned to SK since her grandmother passed away in 2014. Her aunt, her biological mother's sister, moved into her grandmother's house just down the street from her cousin's place. G-G and the children were happy to finally be in this "house in Guernsey" that G-Ma had been telling stories about since her first time west in April 2004. When G-Ma's grandparents left northern Ontario in the late 1960s, they came to SK and built their home in Guernsey, a little hamlet on the side of the Yellowhead Highway with a population of approximately fifty. The children played outside for a few hours, just enjoying the prairie life: quiet, full of nature, and dry, warm weather. A nice family dinner, at a table, with fresh food prepared by her relatives, was precisely what they needed. The vast yards have plenty of room for an RV park. It was an early night, even though it was still light out. They had to leave by 10:30 AM to arrive in Edmonton, AB, by mid-afternoon for the conference registration. They made plans to stop on the return journey home on Monday. 

T-Minus: 168 hours - Destination: 2,955 kms

They arrived at the Edmonton Mall in mid-afternoon. The conference reservation included a room at the Fantasyland Hotel for three nights. It was a welcome change of scenery from the “Wanderlust.” Their room had a set of bunks, a double bed, and a separate bathroom; the children took it over as their personal suite. G-G and G-Ma each had their own queen beds with a full bathroom. G-G claimed the bed by the window, then changed her mind to the bed near the bathroom. They unpacked, freshened up, and went to the mall for a shopping trip. It's one of the biggest malls, featuring a water park, ice rink, mini-golf, and marine life, among other attractions. Renésmée shouted, “This is the best mall ever!" After registering for the conference, they had a quick meal, and then G-G and Renésmée went shopping. G-Ma and Juno explored Galaxyland and found an arcade room to hang out in. After a few hours, the sprint to Edmonton caught up with everyone. It was time to relax in the quiet room and recharge for the next day's conference activities. 

Headline: G-Ma receives an emergency call, but “911” was not necessary

The next day, G-Ma and Renésmée headed to the “Welcome to the Wild Wild West Conference” for breakfast. G-G and Juno were on their own for the day with an entire room to themselves and the biggest mall just down the hall. G-Ma was sure they would keep busy. Renésmée reunited with a few acquaintances from past conferences and received their agenda for the day's activities. G-ma signed up for a few offered family support sessions.

A few hours passed, and G-Ma's cell rang; it was Juno, who said in a calm voice, “G-G fell in the bathroom. I don't know what to do.” G-Ma rushed to the room to find G-G on the floor in the bathroom. She had taken a tumble coming out of the shower. She wasn't hurt, but with two replaced knees, she didn't have a way to get herself back up. Juno didn't want to go into the bathroom, not knowing how to help G-G. All was back to normal in the “Bizarre's” room. G-Ma went back to the conference. 

Headline: Bizarre's Dinner Contrast: Wanderlust Snacks to Banquet Dinner, a Book Author Visit, While Entertained by "Nice Horse"

After they finished the conference, they needed to get ready for the banquet, dinner, and dance. G-G and Juno joined the banquet evening with G-Ma and Renésmée. As they entered the hall, G-G commented that she recognized the girls who were there for the conference. She doesn't comment to be mean; she has dementia and has lost some of her filters that trigger common sense. G-Ma tried to explain, hoping it was the end of those comments. 

Juno joined Renésmée and a group in the karaoke area, singing along. They all enjoyed a five-course dinner. What a contrast, from the Wanderlust snacks to a dinner planned for royalty. A well-known local published author was present; Debbie Browne wrote Loving a Leaping Butterfly: A True Story of a Daughter with Turner Syndrome, among others. Soon after, an all-female band called Nice Horse entertained the group for the evening. Everyone danced the night away.

The next morning, after a few sessions, the conference ended with a brunch. All the girls gathered for a group photo, the “Wild Wild West Conference 2018.” After brunch and adieus, they enjoyed all that the mall had to offer. Renésmée's first choice was the wave pool. G-Ma stayed at the poolside and watched her swim. G-G and Juno checked out the Pirates’ Ship display. The rest of the day was spent at the mall, experiencing everything it had to offer.

T-Minus: 96 hours - Destination: 2,955 kms

G-Ma and the children parked The Wanderlust for three days and packed their belongings back. G-G still had in her mind that they were going to upgrade the RV before they headed back. She didn't understand. The rental RV came from Bolton, ON, and G-Ma needed to return it to Bolton. They left Edmonton and drove south to Drumheller, often referred to as the "Dinosaur Capital of the World.” It is renowned for the unique hoodoo landscapes and the world's largest dinosaur statue. The children had a blast, especially as they climbed inside the statue. They arrived in Guernsey in the mid-afternoon.  

After a three-day conference, she was full of information, had made a few acquaintances, and was reminiscing when she noticed two texts vibrating on her cell. The text message arrived like a flare in the middle of the Prairies. The first text was from her aunt Rizzo advising her that her uncle, who has dementia, had gotten worse. She wondered which day they would be back. The second text was from Juno's school principal, wondering when he would be back. He advised that the "Education Quality and Accountability Office" (EQAO), which is the Ministry of Education’s mechanism for measuring student achievement in reading and mathematics, can be delayed until Friday afternoon. He would greatly appreciate it if Juno could come in early Friday morning to complete the EQAO testing.

Headline: “The sprint west" just turned into a 2400 km dash home

The sprint just ended. They weren’t exploring anymore; they were three provinces deep in a dash back to northern Ontario. As she stood on the soil of her ancestors in SK, her mind calculated the 2,400-km dash and the 48 hours it would take. This was the "Last Moment of Peace." One minute, G-Ma was documenting her history in a quiet town; the next, she was calculating how many litres of gas and how many hours it would take to beat a Thursday deadline for a Friday EQAO "hostage" situation and hoping her mother could see her brother before he passed.

After her aunt and cousin prepared a nice family dinner, G-Ma brought the children to the cemetery where the family had buried her biological grandmother (RIP-2014), mother (RIP-1995), uncle, and a few other relatives. In a moment of pause, the children laid a flower on each grave.

As they entered the RV, Juno sang, “Eight flowers laid." Even though they just left a cemetery, they couldn't help reacting to Juno's last count. It was an early evening; as G-Ma calculated the dash home, they needed to leave at 6 AM, including a few fuel stops and a quick stop for the evening. The estimated time of arrival home should be Wednesday evening. As she said her goodbyes, her cousin whispered, “I know it was a brief visit, but it was worth seeing you and meeting G-G, Renésmée and Juno.” These words resonated in her heart the rest of the way.

T-Minus: 36 hours - Destination: 2,308 kms

As the sun rose, they quietly left their little homey place called Guernsey. By 10 AM, they pulled off the highway to admire the landmarks in Langenburg, SK. There were two well-known landmarks that G-Ma stopped while riding with her cousin Sami from Northern Ontario to Edmonton. They took a photo of the two motorcycles, along with the famous older yellow Volkswagen Beetle adorned with flowers. Goliath, the world’s highest swing at 33 ft and 1 inch. Juno, with his engineer's mind, was interested in reading the plaque with all the added details.

The endless kilometres across northern Ontario always felt like an endless marathon. Renésmée asked if anyone wanted to play car karaoke. For the setup, she'll use her cell phone timer. One person picked a song or an artist to spin or act. Each player took a turn, and the judge would award points to the best performance. The winning player chooses the next challenge. The music interfered with the remaining squeaks.

With a quick fuel top-up, a snack and a drink along the way, they crossed into Manitoba in the mid-afternoon. By 8:30 PM, they arrived in Kenora, ON. Renésmée found the directions to Walmart. As they parked for the evening, they heard Juno from the mini cave singing, "Two dozen deer!" and a huge belly laugh. G-Ma thought she must have missed 9 to 24? In northern Ontario, it is normal to wake up to a field of deer, but most, like the Griswolds, would make it a big story.

T-Minus: 16.5 hours - Destination: 1474 kms

On the last day, as we drove the shores of Lake Superior, they took a short pause at the Sleeping Giant tourist lookout. Renésmée and Juno were posing by the lake, with the sky angry and the Sleeping Giant on the horizon. It was the exact visual for the emotional weight they carried. It was a great memory of northern Ontario to capture. Since they didn’t have an opportunity to stop at the Terry Fox statue to honour him on the way to Edmonton, they made the stop. The children had many questions as they read the plaque explaining his journey. The photos spoke for themselves. Juno, who did not understand the magnitude of Terry Fox’s journey, referred to him as "A single man standing." The 1,000 km dash was the relentless deadline; the last recorded photos were taken here. During this last dash, they won’t stop to capture the scenery; she just needed to make it home before the silence gets too loud.    

T-Minus: 0.5 hours - Destination: 30 kms

They arrived home late afternoon on May 30th. They dropped G-G off at her place in town in time for her to be with her family. G-Ma took a last deep breath and said, “Thirty more kms to go." As they pulled into the driveway, Renésmée and Juno were happy to be home to see their mom. G-Ma turned off the engine, pulled the key out, grabbed the last can of Pepsi, opened the freezer for the last Cherry Blossom, and lay on the bed motionless. It was her time now, after another deep breath, a few moments of silence to thank the universe for a fault-free “Wanderlust.”

T-Minus: 0 hours - Destination: 0 km

Headline: Local woman successfully sprints across four provinces; grandchildren still haven’t noticed the change in time zones

On May 31st, the laughter coming from Aunt Rizzo stopped. The caps lock screaming that she could usually hear became a different kind of sound. Her uncle, Aunt Rizzo’s hubby, was gone. Family life, as we all knew, suddenly became dominated by a void. G-Ma raced against the clock, as Aunt Rizzo’s "calm whisperer" needed guidance through the dark. She needed to hear Aunt Rizzo’s “unbelievable” comment when she entered her home. 

Cassidy’s absence changed the dynamic of the western trip. The entire week felt different; a piece of the family was missing. G-Ma dashed through four provinces to complete the two deadlines back home. Once they return the RV the next day, with the testing completed, the grieving will begin.